The Voice Of Silence: Interview with a rape victim

In the last few days I have been talking to a friend who confessed something very serious had happened to her. She told me she had been raped a few years ago.

I was paralysed upon hearing the news, I just wanted to know what happened exactly. It is a very delicate matter. It;s very hard to deal correctly with a victim shortly after such an aggressive attack. It is bound to trigger some complex emotional reactions.

Generally people who are raped have been afraid to speak. It is a severe emotional damage, perhaps even more significant than the physical damage.

Unfortunately this crime occurs every day somewhere in the world, with women, children and even men.
It is even sadder to know that in most cases the criminal is free and out amongst the public.

This friend, who will remain anonymous because she wishes for her family not to find out, allowed me to interview her. Here’s what we discussed:

C.F: I know it is difficult to go back and remember this act cruelty upon you. But I wonder how old were you? And how was that day?

I.G: It’s true! Hard to talk about it, but it’s good to comment (on the incident) to encourage others who have been battered this way.

I was 19, I was just a college girl. That night, exactly 22:00 hours I was with my colleagues at the University doing work. Had no problem in returning home, the college was closed. Upon returning home, I realised I had someone behind me and the street was dark and empty. A guy stopped me, stuck a knife in my stomach, threatened me with death. I tried to give my purse, my phone, my necklace and money but to no avail – he hurt me a little with the knife. I wanted to scream but I was scared and paralysed, with much fear and no alternative, I did what he asked me. The rest it’s not good to tell. After the attacker achieved what he wanted he threatened me once again with death and fled.

My reaction was to stay in shock, trembling from head to toe. I did not know what to do. I composed myself, I ran home.

C.F: When you came home what do you did? Why not tell the truth to your family or searched for help?

I.G: That day, I took a long shower, I felt dirty, it was horrible! The worst was that I could not eat or talk to my family, increasingly isolating myself from everyone and everything. I was afraid to tell anyone ashamed of what they would think of me.

The scary thing was the guy who raped me was studying in the same college as me but my fear for him was so huge that I decided to keep quiet. Besides hw knew where I was studying and lived. I decided to move to another college.

C.F: Have you regretted not having revealed the truth to everyone? Many years have passed, how have you overcome it?

I.G: Yes, I regret to this day of not telling the truth, but I was not brave enough to handle the situation. Now I can say I got over it, I pray that God has enlighten the way of this man, but at first it was painfully difficult.

I was afraid to go outside, afraid to talk and trust others, had no self esteem, sleepless nights and suffered from a lot of headaches. What helped me through was attending psychologists and psychiatrists, who guided me and medicated me for a long time.

Despite having not told the people who are close to me, the treatments and the guidance of professionals have helped me to understand that the sexual assault was not my fault and I should not close myself to the world because of it .

Today I am a professionally accomplished woman, happily married and I express myself by painting pictures. Encouraging others to do the same – the art was a therapy that helped me get rid of the problems.

C.F: What do you advise for people who have suffered this type of aggression?

I.G: First, do not be afraid. Face this fear and have the courage to tell the truth. Seek a solution by confessing and asking for help to the authorities to find the offender.

Conclusion

I.G was just another victim of rape and like others that are sexually abused all over the world on a daily basis. Some who survive the attack go on to face complications in sexual and reproductive health. They sometimes carry the risk of sexually transmitted diseases, subsequent psychological disorders and, in extreme cases, suicidal behaviour.

Many people are ashamed to go to a police station to do corpus delict, but the best bet is to seek immediate help because the evidence is clearer and easier to identify the criminal.

For more information and who need support go to http://www.rapecrisislondon.org.